總是懷才不遇 – 伯樂在哪裡?

懷才不遇的感覺，往往掩蓋了人的視野；沮喪、憤怒、抱怨，阻斷了面對現實的行動力。不過，你真的具有你認為無法發揮的才能嗎？你真的夠努力嗎？你有把握住每一個稍縱即逝的機會嗎？希望看完這篇文章會有些啟發吧!

總是懷才不遇 – 伯樂在哪裡?

「機會是留給準備好的人，」醫學、哲學家巴斯特（Louis Pasteur）說。

Having nothing …

“… Never reserve anything. Pour out the best you have, and always be poor. Never be diplomatic and careful about the treasure God gives. This is poverty triumphant …”            — from My Utmost for His Highest, June 26

Such powerful words make me think how many things have gone wrong in my past while I was not paying attention.

隨想#6

真相往往是令人難過, 只有時間才能證明對錯. 作決定的時候我感覺到在內心裡的鬥爭和怯懦. 但作了個傷心的決定之後, 我真的希望我所作的決定是錯的 …

綿 綿 — 陳 奕 迅
曲 : 柳 重 言    詞 : 林 夕

和 你 也 許 不 會 再 相 擁
大 概 你 的 體 重    會 抱 我 造 夢
從 前 為 了 不 想 失 約    連 病 都 不 敢 痛
到 哪 一 天    才 回 想 起    我 蠢

和 你 也 許 不 會 再 通 宵
坐 到 咖 啡 酸 了    喝 也 喝 不 掉
從 前 為 你 得 無 聊    寧 願 休 息 不 要
談 論 連 場 大 雨 你 窗 台 漏 水    不 得 了

從 來 未 愛 你    綿 綿
可 惜 我 愛 懷 念    尤 其 是 代 我 傷 心 的 唱 片
從 來 未 愛 你    但 永 遠 為 任 何 人 奉 獻
從 沒 細 心 數 清 楚    一 個 夏 雨 天
一 次 愉 快 的 睡 眠    斷 多 少 的 髮 線

和 你 也 許 不 會 再 擁 抱
待 你 我 都 蒼 老    散 半 里 的 步
前 塵 就 似 輕 於 鴻 毛    提 及 心 底 苦 惱
如 像 自 言 自 語 說 他 人 是 非    多 麼 好

從 來 未 愛 你    綿 綿
可 惜 我 愛 懷 念    尤 其 是 代 我 傷 心 的 唱 片
從 來 未 愛 你    但 永 遠 為 任 何 人 奉 獻
從 來 沒 細 心 數 清 楚    一 個 夏 雨 天
一 次 愉 快 的 睡 眠    斷 多 少 髮 線

從 來 未 愛 你    只 喜 愛 跟 一 顆 心 血 戰
亦 懷 念 那 些 吸 不 透 的 香 煙
從 來 未 愛 你    只 喜 愛 共 萬 人 迷 遇 見
從 來 沒 細 心 數 清 楚    一 個 夏 雨 天
一 次 愉 快 的 入 眠    斷 多 少 髮 線

(很想告訴自己懷念的只是回憶，只是一些瑣碎的綿綿片段，而不是你。只是我總無法把你從回憶中分別出來。)

隨想#5

While I thought I am a grown-up, actually I am still a kid.
While I thought I am a shooting star, actually I am still a oak rooted in a forest.
While I thought I am a achiever, actually I am still a loser lost himself.

Who am I? Why am I here? What am i looking for?

——————————–

某一年一班剛剛考完會考嘅同學約埋一齊唱K
流行曲唱到一半嘅時候
其中一位朋友問咗隔離嗰位一個問題
喂　你估吓二十年後嘅今日我地會變成一個咩人呢

二十年後
可能已經變成一個西裝骨骨嘅中環人
手帶勞力士　銀包有好多張信用卡
放工嘅時候就一齊响酒吧度
一邊望住個煙灰盅
一邊就望住隔離檯嗰個女仔
睇吓佢條裙幾時會走光

二十年後
大概終於會買咗個部好想擁有既汽車
但係仲有二十幾期要供
二十年嘞　應該轉過好多份工
識做嘅野越嚟越多
但係同時發覺學識越嚟越少

响嗰個時間　間唔中可能會去吓gym
但係做嚟做去都係減唔到個肚腩
當然二十年嚟你間唔中都會諗起一段
一路都未能放低嘅感情
女朋友越嚟越多　但係愛嘅越嚟越少

細路哥　你得到什麼　你失去什麼
你知道　what are u looking for

大概响嗰個時候可能會有身邊嘅親人離開
而响個陣時你會有好多講唔出口嘅遺憾
同時間你會發覺原來人生已經過咗一大半

同年終於結婚嘞
用左半生嘅積蓄俾左一層樓嘅首期
有車位有泳池會所
娛樂越嚟越多但係快樂越嚟越少

兩年後　可能會離婚
回復單身之後嘅一個晚上一個人响床上面
揸住個搖控不停咁轉台　食咗兩粒安眠藥
跟住點起支薄荷煙
然後流咗一滴自親人離世之後嘅眼淚

突然之間你又諗起　响二十年前
你係一個咩人　係個一晚
一大班同學約埋出嚟唱K唱到天光
仲記得係個朝返到屋企嘅時候
打開門响檯面見到有一碗屋企人留低嘅湯
碗湯已經凍咗嘞

細路哥　你得到什麼　你失去什麼
你知道　what are u looking for

(音樂- 歌詞- 林海峰- 細路哥II)

Marketing research presentation

My marketing research presentation was a success! (except the fact that I totally forgot to state my problem statement which I considered as a *minor* mistake )

I was nervous at first while I was doing my business plan idea two weeks ago. I prepared and practiced many many times. While I was presenting, I was not sure if my audiences were interested in the topic, and if I was getting the message across. I was pressured mid-way through the presentation and I thought “Man, I suck at presentation!”

One day I talked to Brian and he told me that he’s been going to the UofT Engineering Toastmaster Chapter since last September. He found that helped him in terms of presentation and public speaking. So I took his word and went to the Toastmaster meeting with him on last Thursday. After listening to couple presentations (Brian talked about his interview experience and he did an excellent job!), I found that everyone was passionated about what they talked about. Even though they probably do not really like the topic that much, they made me feel like they actually do.

While I was riding the subway home that night, I thought “If I am passionated about my business plan idea, I actually have nothing to nervous about!” The same mentality got me through the marketing presentation last night. During the presentation, I showed my confident and talked with minimum “ah-”. I also added in couple lines for transitions, like

“Imagine that $370 thousands dollars is your pocket, you can buy yourself a pretty nice condo around the Toronto area”

“My technology can save my customer 2.4 weeks of design time. TWO POINT FOUR WEEKS! Isn’t that amazing?”

Well, people laughed and it seemed to work

So, really, lesson I learned is that, it doesn’t really matter what you are presenting, as long as you are passionated about the topic and make your audience feel your passion. That’s successful presentation.

Sick

I’ve been sick for the entire last week. Running nose turns into sore throat. Thanks to mommy made me some Chinese soup so I felt a lot better now. However, flu is still playing merry-go-round in my body and is not ready to stop yet. I felt fever-ish this morning while I woke up. I knew it because I could tell while I breathed out. I felt like my lung was pressured and pressed.

Flu, get away from me! I want my life back!

My head is still spinning after taking couple Advil, not to mention I have my marketing research presentation tonight. God, just kill me now!

Stay tune

Wow!! I cannot believe my previous post was written last years, and suddenly it seems so long ago. Some reasons I imagined myself as a pet puppy living with a rich family. Food came on time as long as I did what I was told. Although this life was the dream life for most of us, I started questioning myself “Is it what I want for the rest of my life?”

Once I untied myself from my collar, I felt like there were wings grew on my back, and I could fly away as a bird. Breathing the fresh air and doing what I should are priceless! I re-gained myself after introspection, and contemplated which path I should follow next.

Stay tune!

隨想#4

今天是第三個星期。

我問自己:”究竟我是理智地控制情感? 還是被感情控制了理智?” 人是感情動物, 有時候會感到快樂, 有時候會感到失落, 有時候會感到傷心。不同的感覺會令人有不同的想法, 不同的想法會令人得出最終理智的決定。

開始的時候我是快樂的因為我們談天說地, 有說有笑。之後我的失落是因為得到了事實的真相, 事實的全部。到了這一刻我的傷心是因為傷了我的自尊。再想真一點: 其實我只是愛上愛情本身, 而並不是愛上應該愛的人。想想亦可能是感情上的寂寞, 想找個人去寄託我的感情。但可惜事與願遺, 所託非人。

以前我送了一首我自己十分之喜歡的詩給一位傷心的友人, 今天可說是”共互勉”:

花褪殘紅青杏小，燕子飛時，綠水人家繞。枝上柳綿吹又少，天涯何處無芳草！
牆裏秋千牆外道，牆外行人，牆裏佳人笑。笑漸不聞聲漸悄，多情卻被無情惱。
- 北宋 蘇軾 蝶戀花

在玉米田上的課可說是代價真大!

隨想#3

今天是第二個星期。

上一個星期的回應令我感覺到人間”友”情, 難能可貴。但是朋友們對我公開的關心反而令我覺得有點尷尬, 應該繼續寫, 還是應該停寫, 連我自己也不知如可是好…

心情仍然有些反覆無常, 還是未能平靜下來。不知到為什麼每一次坐下來想靜靜地看書時, 總是專不上心來, 甚至連晚上都睡也睡得不好, 睡夢中不是與其他人爭吵, 便是跑來跑去, 好像停不了的樣子, 好像有一種無形的壓力, 好像在心裡有一個放不下的包袱。應該繼續背著這個包袱, 還是應該放下它, 連我自己也不知如可是好…

晚上電台的音樂節目陪了我廿多個寒暑。今晚聽到楊丞琳的”曖昧”, 歌詞十分之有意思:

曖昧讓人受盡委屈
找不到相愛的證據
何時該前進　何時該放棄
連擁抱都沒有勇氣

只要給我時間, 我一定可以克服自己, 再戰玊米田!

隨想#2

It’s been one week.

It wasn’t particularly busy at work past week, but I still devoted all my personal time to work. I tried so hard to suppress my feeling as if I tried to close the lid of an overload cookie jar. I was asking myself if I’d done too much. I was asking myself if I’d done too little. I was asking myself if I’d done anything wrong. I was trying to logically analyze the illogical situation. I was trying to accept the unacceptable reality. I was trying to make up the perfect reason for the imperfect ending.

Men never shed tears in their eyes but sob in their hearts.

Today I accidentally went to RTHK and randomly selected an ancient radio drama 無可奉告 (translated to “no comments”) recorded in 1985. This drama totally hits me! Because it was me! Because it was my story!

The worst part is: no matter how hard I try, the jar lid just won’t close …

ps: You can find the radio drama here